Planning A Wedding In 2020 From A Bride's Perspective (Part 1)
Are you a soon-to-be bride? This year has been filled with so much uncertainty and stress, but if you still want to get married and having a smaller wedding, then this post is for you. You can choose between having a minimony, microwedding, or elopement. What is the difference you ask?
“A minimony is a mini ceremony held with your loved ones, or simply a moment of commitment shared between yourselves.
“A microwedding…will typically include a guest list of up to 50 guests—often immediate family and super-close friends only. Think of a microwedding as a cross between an elopement and a big, traditional wedding.”
“Traditionally, elopements were considered spur-of-the-moment and unplanned events involving an element of secrecy. Today, there is still an air of sweeping romance involved in elopements, but couples are taking the extra steps to personalize it too. “
I asked my 2020 bride Heather if she would answer a few questions about her experience planning a wedding. Her answers from their Memory Lane Farms wedding are below!
1. How were you feeling when you decided to change your wedding and downsize from the original plans?
When we initially decided that we would be required to downsize, we experienced so many feelings. We felt relief considering with all that was going on, we had finally made a decision on what to do and everything wasn't up in the air anymore. We also felt a sense of grief since we had spent over two years planning our wedding for it to be a completely different day than we envisioned. Honestly, I had days where I went through every emotion imaginable trying to make the best decisions and in the end, what was most important was the safety of our guests, and we knew with a 200 person wedding it was not an option to have it this year.
2. Did you incorporate details from your original plans?
We pretty much changed almost everything! I bought a more "low-key" dress online for our ceremony because I was unable to get any alterations done to my original dress in the time frame I had before our wedding. The location was moved outdoors so that the few guests we did have were able to socially distance more easily. We only had our Maid of Honor and Best Man stand up next to us for our ceremony instead of the whole bridal party. I had a close friend play the violin for music instead of our original plans of a harpist. We postponed our videographer, DJ, florist and our venue. The list could go on about the things we had to change. What we did incorporate that was original to the plans was I still went and got my hair done (shoutout to Marissa at ELAN Studio in Cicero) and we kept Brittany as our photographer, and we are so happy we did! See more below on this in my tips!
3. How did your minimony turn out to be compared to your expectations on how you thought it would be?
When we started making plans to still get married this year regardless of the large celebration, I felt demotivated to be honest. I was struggling to re-plan all these new details, it was difficult to cut off who would be in attendance at the ceremony and who we had to tell they were unable to attend due to size. All these barriers continued to show up, but we both were set on getting married when we originally planned. I was at a point that I was excited to get married, but didn't have any real expectations that the day would go much different than any other day due to it being such a small celebration. Let me tell you, that was flawed thinking! I woke up early, anxious to see how the day would pan out because I am such a planner and it almost felt as if we threw this together pretty quickly relative to our two years of planning our big wedding!
As the day went on, I became more and more relaxed. I was not stressed or overwhelmed. Well, there was one moment where my now husband called me 2 hours before our ceremony and couldn't find his shirt he was supposed to wear that day, but I consider it a small hiccup compared to what we had already overcome in all the planning. I was still surrounded by my closest family and friends the entire day, just spending time together like any other day. If I am being completely honest, I think the day may have been better than what we could have ever dreamed of for our original plans. We got to speak to every person there, get photos with every person there and we got to create such a special memory on my family farm where I grew up. I honestly tear up thinking about how flawless the day turned out.
4. If you could give 3 tips to a bride going through the same thing, what would they be?
If you can afford it and find someone who is able to do it, get professional photos taken!! A "regular" wedding day goes quick! A minimony goes even quicker! It was so incredibly worth it to invest in photos, even if it is only for a couple hours! We did one hour before the ceremony and an hour after. For us, it was the perfect amount of time!
Try to do something that makes you feel like a bride and that you also feel safe doing! I got my nails done the day before and the day of, I did still get my hair done! It added a little bit of "getting ready" excitement since I was not doing any of my other getting ready original plans. It helped me feel like it was still a special day for us and honestly, I could not make my hair as fabulous as Marissa did that day! I would recommend something to treat yourself to get you in the spirit!
If you are trying to decide whether you should postpone your whole wedding or whether to do something small and maybe postpone your large celebration...PLEASE consider getting married on your original date if you are safely able to. It was a humbling experience and put into perspective how much weddings end up being hosting and entertaining, and it can take away from the real reason you are there, which is celebrating your love and marriage to your partner. That is the most special part of the entire day and a small ceremony allows you to take it all in and enjoy every small moment you have with your person.
Thank you Heather for sharing your experience in planning your microwedding!! I loved that I was able to share your day with you. Stay tuned to hear from another bride who opted to have a microwedding!
